Jacob the hoover

Jacob Scofield, offspring of Thomasin the cop and Andy the consultant, will always be a healthy child and adult. His parents have assured this by allowing him – nay, nay, by encouraging him – to graze across my colorful carpet.

During his and his parents’ May and June stays in the Houston home I share with Robin the public relations lady, I thought he was just an unusually quiet seven-month old, a toddler saving his vocal efforts for the terrible twos. But as I observed him wiggling across our moderately-price imported carpet, I realized he was too busy to say anything: He was licking the rug. and it is one offering an enriched nap of imbedded dog hair, crushed tortilla chips, and a fine crumb of imported shortbread, enhanced with the dried yet heady aroma of tequila, Texas corn whiskey and a splash of soda water. And, afterwards, no reaction. The level of immunity he has built must be incredible.

Jacob takes his own photo with an iPhone

Jacob’s self-portrait

I have yet to vacuum the carpet hoping Jacob might soon return and save me the trouble.

– Richard Paoli

[Mr Richard is the Matryoshka Haus’ head chef and favourite story-teller…] 

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